I Need Your Help

Dear readers

I’m hoping you can help. I don’t usually ask for advice over the Internet, not since I consulted that quack online doctor about my “little problem”. That was a bad experience, I can tell you. Thankfully everything has scabbed over nicely since then, so I should be okay in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, here’s my problem. I am becoming increasingly disheartened at the economic direction this country is taking. I no longer know whether raging about the issue on this blogsite is making a difference. I don’t know if anyone of influence is reading anything I say, but I suspect the truth would hurt my fragile ego.

So my question is this: what should I do? I’ve narrowed my options down to these: 

  • Emigrate
  • Write a stern letter to the New Zealand Herald
  • Form a crackpot political party, hold the balance of power, then hold the government to ransom until I get my way (the NZ First/ACT model)
  • Purchase a range of firearms and knives from various disreputable persons, then begin the Reaping, so that my enemies and quite a few innocent bystanders as well may Come Unto the Lord
  • Join a mainstream political party, and work tirelessly up through the ranks until one day I become an MP, then plan and execute a ruthless and brilliant leadership challenge that leaves me as boss (i.e. I will not be seeking advice from Chris Carter or Heather Roy)
  • Begin training a secret army in the Ureweras, position ourselves quietly around Parliament and the Beehive, and then launch a coup d’état against the Government during a session of Parliament. (I will need to give myself a military rank if people are to take me seriously. Is Field Marshall grand enough?)
  • Give up all resistance and embrace the darkness (hey, I’ve got enough to get by on even if things go really pear-shaped, and my kids can always move to Australia when they get older)
  • Do nothing, apart from continuously whine (the status quo option).

Any thoughts? Have I missed any obvious options?