PM To Asylum Seekers: Go Back!

Prime Minister John Key has told a group of asylum seekers that they are not welcome.

The carload of people was intercepted after a late model BMW was detected parking up outside a National Party Epsom electorate committee meeting.

Security at the border of the hall where the meeting was being held kept the asylum seekers at bay until party officials could intervene.

The asylum seekers claimed they had been driven out of the ACT Party and were seeking freedom from tyranny and extremism.

But Mr Key said they were not welcome.

“We don’t want them here. Some of them might be militants or extremists who want to wreck our country in the name of their cause. These people don’t share our values.”

When asked to explain what those values were, Mr Key explained that it would depend on what the latest polls and focus groups were indicating.

The spokesperson for the asylum seekers did not want her full name to be published for fear of reprisals towards her friends still in the party. The woman, Heather, said she had fled ACT in fear.

“I was terrified of what the mad doctor in charge of the party might do next. He started talking about race war, and even about returning to the party a much-hated law and order strongmen who had previously been forced out by scandal.

“I feared for my emotional well-being, my sanity and my good name.”

Heather dismissed any fears that her group might be concealing radicals or extremists.

“We’re just ordinary rich white people trying to make better lives for ourselves and our investment portfolios.”

However, an investigation by party officials also discovered a person hiding in the boot of the car. The man had froth around his mouth and was discovered after loud barking noises were heard coming from the vehicle. He was rushed to hospital for an urgent assessment.

Officials have now confirmed that the man is wanted for inciting hate speech against minorities, and will be deported back to ACT. If ACT will not have him he will be handed over to another party.

It is understood that the National Front has agreed to take the man if ACT will not.

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