These Are My Rules

In which I set out the principles I will rigidly enforce when I am your Lord and Master

Godwinning a blogpost thread, other than for ironic or humorous purposes, will be a criminal offence. You may disagree strongly with your opponents, but admit it, the chances of their being actual Nazis are quite slim.

People will be able to accept the idea that the leaders of the political parties they don’t like are not actually evil. They may be bumbling incompetents, they may be intellectually lazy, and they may be too focused on looking after “their own” (potentially good reasons to get rid of them), but it’s unlikely that they actively revel in the misery of others or are criminally dishonest.

When our leaders appear on the world stage we will remember that they are representing us all. We will encourage them to do well. We need them to do well.

Bloggers who screw up on the internet and make a hash of things will be able to say sorry.  Being occasionally wrong about something isn’t a sign of weakness. It just proves we’re not all robots.

Mainstream politicians will not engage extremist bloggers who work for the other team. Ignoring extremists is always better than challenging them to a bike race.

People will awaken to the realisation that bloggers who always, always, criticise the other side (whether left or right) are boring. The other side will occasionally get things right, as you well know.

Some of the people who inhabit the extremes of the blogosphere will get the interventions they need. We have seen from Norway what can happen when an angry nutter with deranged views gets hold of weaponry. What I have read of the perpetrator reminds me of the views of many a Kiwiblog commenter. Not to be outdone, there are as many deranged idiots on The Standard.

People will be required to follow a range of sources from across the media and blogosphere in order to be informed on any particular matter. Anyone who admits to getting all their news from either Whaleoil or Tumeke will be institutionalised.

Politicians who cultivate hatred towards religions, races or ethnic groups will be rewarded with 24 strikes of the rattan cane.

Bomber Bradbury will relax a little and learn to love.’s spellchecker will not think the word “blogger” is a typo.

People won’t be afraid to tell me when I’m being a dick on my blog. But please be polite about it.

My blog will be funnier, less partisan, less nasty and more informative.

As the person who made all these rules, I will be allowed to break them all.