A prominent politician was rushed to Wellington Hospital, after his clothing ignited while he was giving a speech.
Hospital staff would not confirm the politician’s name. However they confirmed that the man’s injuries were minor and that he had been discharged shortly after arriving.
Initial reports indicate that the man’s trousers caught fire as he was delivering a speech on how the rating agency Standard & Poor’s considered a credit downgrade was more likely under a Labour government.
It appears that the ignition may have been caused by a potentially lethal cocktail of hot air, duplicity and conceit.
It also appears that the man avoided serious injuries because he was wearing a special non-stick under-suit. This under-suit, constructed from Teflon, appears to have prevented the fabric of his Italian designer suit from melting onto his skin.
But already speculation is mounting on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter that the man’s survival was a divine miracle, rather than a result of his protective clothing.
Prime Minister John Key was unavailable for comment, because he thought it was Morning Report on the phone.