Hard-hitting left-wing columnist and Chairman of the Workers Solidarity Party of Aotearoa, Bob Mittsky, with his take on events of the last week.

Monday

So the Colmar Brunton opinion poll claims to show that National are as popular as ever. What garbage. Polls can’t be trusted. Opinion polls are nothing more than a reflection of the untruths and distortions fed to us by the mainstream media. Of course they show the government remains popular. They would though, wouldn’t they? Just about every journo and pundit in this country has bought into the lies of that arch-capitalist John Key, and the gullible public are happy to be led like sheep.

Everyone knows these polls are heavily biased towards the right, because of a whole bunch of factors so obvious that I choose not to repeat them here.

I say to hell with the latest poll. The word on the street when I talk to fellow members of my revolutionary council is that this government has let the people down. I couldn’t name a single member of my party’s Politburo who voted for National in 2011.

Comrades, let us create our own glorious reality by ignoring these merchants of inconvenient statistics. Down with the polls!

Tuesday

Today I read that the government is pushing ahead with its pokie machine deal with Sky City. In an even more disturbing development I learned today that Sky City are paying so-called journalists big money just to show up.

Paul Henry and Mike Hosking have their noses well and truly in the trough. I was outraged to learn how much they are earning off the backs off the poor. I should have negotiated a better package.

Wednesday

I didn’t think I could ever feel more disgusted with this government than I do this week.

Gerry Brownlee has apologised to the people of Finland for offending their delicate sensibilities.

When I think of what the Finnish murderers did to those brave Soviet boys in 1939-40 I ask myself this: why would we apologise to such a nation of savages? All Stalin asked for in 1939 was for Finland to dismantle all its defences, cede large amounts of territory, and effectively become a puppet state of the USSR. The Russians had no choice but to engage in an anticipatory retaliation when all of these entirely reasonable demands were refused. Finnish monsters!

If our government had any guts we’d have gone to war with Finland years ago.

Thursday

The latest Roy Morgan poll shows a sharp dip in support for National. Good news for once!

I can’t wait to see how National and their flunkies try to explain away the bad polling. My advice to the public is not to buy their spin for a moment. The people have spoken, and the polls don’t lie!

Friday

When our glorious People’s Revolution finally arrives you may rest assured that the Good Friday holiday will disappear, as will every other symbol of that odious Christian religion.

You may then be wondering why I have been hanging our with the Destiny Church crowd, and giving sermons to packed auditoriums in South Auckland. But let me explain.

It isn’t easy being the chairman of a small and poorly funded party like the Workers Solidarity Party of Aotearoa, and sometimes it seems like we just can’t catch a break. But when I’m giving a sermon about the redemptive power of Christ and I look out across the audience and see all those people believing without thinking, following every instruction given to them, and giving all their money to their leaders, I am filled with hope.

Saturday

Overwhelmed with disgust to learn that the Maritime Union are talking again to the hated bosses. No! Don’t talk, smash them! Throw the bodies of your starving wives and emaciated children into the paths of their lorries in order to slow them down, but don’t let them win!

Sunday

A day of rest for the workers, a holiday earned only because of the unceasing efforts of the trade unions and the solidarity of workers.

I spent the day at home listening to my Billy Bragg collection, and for dinner ordered pizza. They were late with my order, so I kicked the delivery guy in the face, took the food, and refused to pay. I’m making a stand for consumer rights and, anyway, he wasn’t union.