The Rod Of God

Every time I hear Rod Oram talk he comes across as wise and knowledgeable. He’s a business journalist and newspaper columnist, but he appears to have an intelligent opinion on everything. For example, this morning he sounded more like a town planning expert as he critiqued the new Christchurch CBD plan on Kathryn Ryan’s Nine to Noon Show.

It’s clear that Rod Oram knows everything. There is no subject on which he is not the leading expert.

I hope Rod Oram never decides to give legal advice in my area of practice, because if I were to draft the most complex and clever patent licence agreement, including royalty stacking provisions, multiple fields of use and multiple territories, Rod Oram would probably demolish the whole thing in five minutes.

Rod Oram might be the solution to the Black Caps’ shaky batting top order. If he’s not prepared to put his body on the line, he’ll certainly have the coaching nous to sort our boys out.

Rod Oram should be banned from Sky City, because he would beat the house every time.

Marriage problems? Talk to Rod, because he probably knows what you need to do to fix them. Or, if your problems are bedroom ones, Rod Oram can fix those too.

Always make sure Rod Oram is in your quiz team, and not your opponent’s.

When Rod Oram finishes with opining on other important and weighty matters, he’ll probably knock off the cure for cancer in an afternoon.

There would be no war, famine or poverty if people put Rod Oram in charge of things. CERA, the civil service, central government, the UN and the Church, for starters.

Rod Oram knows the moustache is about to come back into fashion. He’s ahead of the crowd on that issue too.