The Slippery Slope

Minutes of Meeting of Aotearoa Man/Bunny Love Association 
Held at Grey Lynn Community Hall on 31 July 2012 at 3:00pm

Present: A. Spanks (President), B. Thizbandall (Treasurer), S. Chung (Secretary), T. Lupus, X. Wangbanks, P. Peacock, D. Smilley, N. Tako, B Hitler.

Apologies: A Khan, L Lemburstraveras, N Osferatu.

Approval of Minutes:

The minutes of the previous meeting were unanimously approved as a true and accurate record.

President’s Report:

The President, A. Spanks, reported to the meeting on progress to amalgamate AMBLA with the North Auckland Citizens and Ratepayers Association. He explained that despite some initial promising developments, progress had slowed. He said he suspected this was due to suspicions by some Citizens and Ratepayers Association members that AMBLA was not wholly committed to animal welfare best practice.

Treasurer’s Report:

The Treasurer, B. Thizbandall, reported that AMBLA reserves as at 1 July 2012 were $3,670.20. The Bunny Love Picnic held in the Auckland Domain in the first weekend of July also raised $532.00, and resulted in much publicity for the association. After court fines, vets’ fees and lawyers’ bills, the net loss from the event was $13,243.66. Once again, members will be asked to make up the shortfall.

Other Business:

The Marriage Equality Bill before Parliament was discussed at length at the meeting. A number of views were expressed, and members were generally of the view that the passing of the bill would open up the opportunity for man/rabbit relationships to achieve full legal status.

T. Lupus said it was a disgrace that his beloved black pet rabbit, Mr. Wiggles, was not permitted to adopt children, or to apply for government benefits. T. Lupus then became emotional, and claimed that AMBLA had a shameful history of only standing up for the rights of lovers of white rabbits, not black ones. T. Lupus was removed from the meeting, and subsequently self-immolated in the lobby of the hall using a lighter and can of petrol.

N. Tako proposed that AMBLA lobby the local government MP to advocate for man/rabbit relationships to be given equal legal status to marriage under existing laws. D. Smilley said this did not go nearly far enough. He said that anyone who wanted to marry anything or anyone should be entitled to do so.

S. Chung then pointed out that the sanctity of the man/rabbit bond was profound, and that anything less than everyone being forced to marry their animals, at gunpoint if necessary, would be selling AMBLA members short.

A vote was then called for.

Motion: That the AMBLA executive lobby the government to demand the forcible marriage of men to animals, and the legal dissolution of all non man-animal marriages, and that a campaign of terror, including attacks on shopping malls and kindergartens, be waged if AMBLA’s equality demands go unheeded by politicians.

Moved: S. Chung
Seconded A. Spanks

The motion was unanimously carried.
Members also held a minute’s silence in memory of a recently deceased member, T. Lupus.

Meeting Closed:

The meeting was closed at 4:07pm, and members then descended into a vile and despicable rumpus involving naked flesh and animal fur, amidst much squealing, groaning and cries for mercy. Tea and biscuits were then served.