And if you wrong us, do we not revenge?

With all the angst and debate over New Zealand’s role in Afghanistan, we appear to have overlooked one obvious thing: our troops are needed elsewhere.

Are we going to let our girl be pushed around by the representative of a small African country most of us have never heard of?

Regular readers of this blogsite know that I’m not prone to fits of deranged patriotic fervour.

So if sober and respectable people like me are demanding that we avenge this insult by sending our troops into Malawi, bombing its cities from the air until they are heaps of rubble*, and erasing that pitiful nation from the face of the Earth, it’s probably something worth seriously considering.

I’d like to see at least one political party get behind this proposal. I know David Shearer’s got a lot on his plate at the moment, and is getting advice from every direction about what Labour should do, but there’s a small but solid core of voters who would just love to see our brave troops hoist the New Zealand flag atop the smouldering ruins of Malawi’s parliament building.

So let’s bring our troops home, and deploy them where they are really needed. Nobody pushes us around!

* I am aware that my plan to bomb African cities from the air will be difficult to put into practice, given our lack of any bomber force, and the fact that we don’t have any airbases anywhere near Malawi. But are we to resign ourselves to never trying anything difficult?