Hard-hitting conservative columnist Dr Frank Shizenhausen returns after a long break

People have been jumping all over Garth McVicar, head of the Sensible Sentencing Trust, after he claimed in a select committee submission that gay marriage would lead to more crime.

It’s shocking the way a good man like McVicar can’t even make an argument entirely devoid of evidence, without the usual suspects trying to shut him down.

But the Sensible Sentencing Trust has a valid point about crime increasing if homosexuals are permitted to marry.

If the very sight of two men holding hands and expressing love for each other turns me all stabby, then there’s no telling what sort of violent crime spree I might commence if they’re allowed to marry and make a lasting loving commitment to each other.

It appears that Michael Laws is moving into the education field. Bravo! I expect he could teach our pampered and out of control kids a thing or two.

I’m not surprised to hear that Laws has a particular interest in teaching history. I’ve always admired his ability to rewrite history in his many newspaper columns and radio shows.

John Key has told reporters during his visit to Antarctica that he remembers how he was sitting School Certificate at the time of the Erebus disaster. That would mean he was about 15 years old at the time, even though reporters claim he would have been 18.

History supposedly shows very clearly that the Erebus disaster occurred in 1979. But history is usually written by historians, and historians are more often than not career academics. I’ve always been deeply sceptical of the research that comes out of our mainstream academic institutions. Those academic elites sitting comfortably in their ivory towers are more often than not driven by a socialist political agenda when they decide which version of events is to become the official one. Why else would they bury the truth behind the Celtic discovery of New Zealand, and the fact that the Treaty of Waitangi is a clever forgery written up by Maori radicals?

So if these historian elites say the Erebus disaster occurred in 1979, while John Key’s version  of events means it must have happened in 1976, it’s pretty obvious who we should believe.

But wait, I can almost hear some of you saying, I remember the Erebus disaster too, and it definitely occurred in 1979! 

You fools. You’ve let them hijack the debate, and now they’re controlling your very mind.

John Key’s trip to Antarctica again highlights the obviousness of the global warming hoax.

Because if global warming is real, why is it still always cold in Antarctica?