My last week in politics: a short summary

14 February

It’s Valentines Day and I’m loving this!

The latest Roy Morgan poll is out and Labour are up! We could have a Labour/Greens government if an election were held tomorrow.

Please, please, John Key, call a snap election now.

And they tried to tell us David Shearer was a liability. Hah! I would spit in the faces of those fools, but they were mostly on the internet and I don’t know where they live. Plus spitting is really unhygienic.

17 February 

Woe! Woe!

The Colmar Brunton poll shows National in the ascendancy!

Wake up, sheeple! How can you be so blind?

But wake up Labour too. How long before you realise the voters of this country just aren’t interested in your message?

David Shearer must go, right now. Right this instant! Quick, round up a posse and head to his house in Mt Albert and get it done. Do whatever it takes. Drag him out onto the street and demand that he resigns for the good of the party. Or else.

Anything would be better than this. I can’t bear to watch my party slowly bleed to death.

Why didn’t the party listen when people said Shearer wasn’t up to the task? Why didn’t they make Cunliffe leader?

What I see is insanity. Whatever happened to humanity?

20 February

The Fairfax poll is out today, and it shows National are down.

Labour and the Greens would almost have the numbers to form the next government if they held an election tomorrow.

This is fantastic news, and it shows that David Shearer is doing a good job. People in the party need to get behind him and give him their full support. That means everyone.

I’m fed up with all this negativity about Labour’s leadership. It’s time for Cunliffe’s people to pull their heads in. We need to work together for the greater good, and not react like headless chickens every time some bit of bad news comes in.

Onwards to victory!