It’s me

This poster didn’t make the cut either
David Farrar writes:

Which prominent blogger has been on the parliamentary payroll for the last 18 months to two years as a parliamentary communications advisor to a political party?

Would not a failure to publicly disclose this be a shocking breach of ethics? 

Will the media ask party leaders the names of all their communications advisors, and see which one fesses up?

It took about 50 comments before someone mentioned my name. I’m not bitter, mind. No, not bitter about the f**kers who didn’t once think to include my name when bandying about their lists of “prominent bloggers”.

The fools. It was actually me! Yes indeed, unknown to everyone around me (including my family and all my friends, and everyone in the Labour Party I know, including my local MP), I work by day as a comms adviser to the Labour Party.

I’m not sure how Farrar found out, but then he does have magical god-like powers. So it’s possible that when he and I last spoke in person a year or so ago, his polite and pleasant conversation was actually a diversion to ensure I didn’t notice that he was at the same time conducting a full scan of my brain.

If you’re all worrying about my lack of disclosure, don’t worry. I’ve been told that I’m absolutely rubbish at my job, and almost every slogan and press release I have written has been binned.

They didn’t like my “vote Labour or we’ll set fire to your house and kidnap your children” banner, even though I thought it was pretty powerful.

My “David Shearer: not as good as Gandhi, but certainly better than Hitler” also didn’t get through the vetting process, even though I spent hours photo-shopping that little moustache onto John Key’s photo.

But I haven’t been entirely without success. I’m pleased with this release, and you must surely admit that the reference to Labour terrorising its opponents is masterful. It’s bound to resonate with Maori communities living on the eastern side of the North Island.

So yes, it was me. I gave up a high-flying career in the law to work as a secret comms adviser to Labour for lousy money. And David Farrar found out and ruined everything!