Panic in Hamilton as chemicals discovered in schools

Embed from Getty Images
Alarming levels of dihydrogen monoxide have been
found at one Hamilton City Council pool facility

The Hamilton City Council is to hold a special crisis meeting this morning, after it was revealed that virtually every resident in the city has been exposed to potentially lethal doses of chemicals.

The crisis arose as a result of scientific evidence submitted to Council members during the recent debate on water flouridation.

In one submission to the Council, University of Waikato scientist Dr Neville Brearley confirmed the presence of chemicals in almost every part of Hamilton.

“Chemicals are everywhere,” said Dr Brearley. “The hysteria over fluoridation seems to be based on an irrational fear of chemicals. And yet chemicals are all around us. Our bodies are mostly chemicals.”

This revelation, which was confirmed by other submitters, has left councillors deeply concerned about the safety of the public.

Mayor Julie Hardaker said she had decided to call the emergency meeting, after hearing the scientific and medical evidence submitted to the Council.

“We are listening to the experts. They are telling us that chemicals are everywhere. Our drinking water is full of chemicals. Chemicals are in our food,” said Ms Hardaker.

“They are even in our schools. Our kids are being exposed to chemicals on a daily basis, and some of these chemicals can be lethal. Do you know how many people die due to excessive water intake every year?”

Ms Hardaker said that all Council swimming pools would be closed immediately, after staff at one facility found alarming levels of dihydrogen monoxide in the main pool.

The mayor also defended the Council’s earlier decision to end fluoridation of the city’s water.

“The local DHB and dentists said we shouldn’t do it. But we also found a study that linked water fluoridation to low IQs,” said Ms Hardaker.

“I would hope that our decision provides ample evidence that drinking fluoridated water causes damage to the brain.”

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