A short statement from David Shearer

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Over the last few weeks there have been a number of questions raised about my leadership, and about the state of the Labour Party.

This has been a huge distraction for us. People want us to be focusing on the issues that matter, not on internal politics.

I agree that with hindsight we could have handled some issues better. But I am absolutely confident that I have the backing of all the MPs who currently support me, and I have no doubt that I will lead Labour into the next election, provided that election occurs within the next two or three weeks. After that it’s anyone’s game.

Under my leadership we continue to make great strides. We have gone through an organisational review, and we have opened up more and more avenues for party members to have their say, only to quickly shut them down again when we don’t like what they have told us. We have also come up with a number of new policies that will make a real difference in the lives of ordinary working people once we are in power, and the voters have responded. The last few political polls have established beyond doubt that some people will vote for Labour in the next election, so we’re off to a great start.

There is still a lot to be done, but we have some exciting new policies to announce over the next few months, and we’re going to ask Whaleoil not to be too hard on them once we release them to the public.

We are also working on ways to minimise the harm being caused to us by Duncan Garner and Patrick Gower and their constant speculation about my leadership. Some of my caucus members have been sharply critical of Garner and Gower, but I’m prepared to try a different tactic. Duncan, Paddy, all I ask is that you give me a fair go. Please. Please? Come on, I’m begging you. I’m on my knees here. I am literally on my knees as I write this, and the tears are streaming down my face. I’m a broken man. Please stop this. It hurts so much. The pain! Oh god, the pain…

I am also going to work on ensuring there is a strong sense of unity and focus within the caucus, because the perception of disorganisation and infighting within Labour is putting off voters. People tell me that they want the Labour Party to focus on the issues that matter to ordinary people, and that’s what I intend us to focus on. Those issues are the ones of most importance to people concerned about the issues that matter, and if we can focus on those issues and not be distracted by internal issues, then I remain confident that when it comes to the issues that matter people will see that we are focused. And that’s what really matters.

7 thoughts on “A short statement from David Shearer

  1. I would personally venture to suggest that in a population as shallow and stupid as New Zealand’s there is more than enough fodder to go around.

    Additionally, shouldn’t the Civilian leave it to Imperator Fish given that the later has been around a few years longer that the former?

  2. I don’t know if there is room. An inside source tells me that a letter is circulating calling for both Scott’s and Ben’s resignation and the immediate appointment of Martyn ‘Bomber’ Bradbury as the only political satirist. This inside source, who is also a top notch real estate agent, tells me a coup is imminent. Patrick Gower has the letter and will show it tonight.

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