Ten questions for David Cunliffe

cunliffe1Try as he might, Labour’s new leader just can’t shake off those questions about his background. When one looks at his CV, what’s most noticeable is not what it says, but what’s missing.

Is David Cunliffe being up-front with the people of New Zealand about his past? Or is he in the process of re-inventing himself, hoping that his past deeds remain hidden, and that the public won’t learn the shocking truth about the man tipped to be the next PM?

Or is this just a beat-up by Cunliffe’s political enemies?

I think we would all like to know the truth. If Cunliffe has nothing to hide, then it will only take him a few minutes to dispel the lingering doubts many of us are harbouring. I’m willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, and I’m certainly no conspiracy theorist. But if Cunliffe’s hiding nothing, all he needs to do is clarify a few things for us.

Here are some questions we would all like answered, David.

  1. Which part of Kenya were you born in?
  2. Is it true that you turned your back on Emirates Team New Zealand during the America’s Cup? Did you or didn’t you download onto your laptop an updated version of Oracle’s Java software?
  3. Why did you not make yourself available to give evidence to the 9/11 Commission? And why does your CV not mention where you were on 11 September 2001? Are you trying to hush something up?
  4. How many graves of our war dead have you ever spat on? Please round up to the nearest ten.
  5. Before your sex change operation, were you called Suzie? And were you working in the South African hospitality industry in the 1990s?
  6. John Key loves his country and is trying to do his best for New Zealand. But you oppose him at every turn. How is that not treason?
  7. Shia or Sunni? Which one are you?
  8. You claim you were involved in the formation of Fonterra. And yet despite producing records showing your involvement with that project, some people still don’t believe you. How can so many bloggers with ulterior motives be wrong?
  9. If you had to make a choice, which of Mao, Stalin or Hitler would you choose to be?
  10. When did you first realise that you despise our country and all of our sacred values and institutions?

Come on, David, what are you waiting for? You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide.

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