The facts of the matter

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A guest post by National Party MP Simon Bridges

pEOPLE OFTEN ASK ME WHAT THE SECRET OF MY SUCCESS IS.

sOME PEOPLE THINK IT’S ALL DOWN TO MY YOUTHFUL GOOD LOOKS AND OVERALL HOTNESS. bUT MY SUCCESS IS NOT ENTIRELY A PRODUCT OF MY PHYSICAL PERFECTION, BECAUSE HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SERIOUSLY UGLY MOST OF MY PARLIAMENTARY COLLEAGUES ARE? iF ANYTHING, MY GOOD LOOKS ARE AN IMPEDIMENT, BECAUSE I’M VIEWED WITH SUSPICION BY ALL THE UGLIES.

sO WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT MY SECRET IS, I ASSURE THEM IT’S NOT JUST THE BRAND OF HAIR GEL I USE. tO BE A SUCCESSFUL POLITICIAN YOU NEED TO BE A GOOD COMMUNICATOR.

nOW THAT DOESN’T JUST MEAN BEING ABLE TO TALK WELL. iT’S ALSO ABOUT LISTENING.

aND YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW TO RESPOND WHEN SOMEONE IN THE MEDIA COMES AT YOU WITH SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH OR DON’T EXPECT.

tHE WORST THING YOU CAN DO DURING AN INTERVIEW IS LOSE YOUR COOL. kEEP CALM, LISTEN TO THE QUESTIONS ASKED, THEN GIVE YOUR ANSWERS.

dON’T HARANGUE YOUR INTERVIEWER, AND DON’T YELL. iT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OF THE PERSON INTERVIEWING YOU, BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT THE PERSON YOU’RE TRYING TO CONVINCE. pOLITICS IS A CONTEST OF IDEAS, AND YOUR TARGET IS NOT THE PERSON ASKING THE QUESTIONS, BUT THEIR AUDIENCE.

iT’S A GOOD IDEA IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED IN THIS PROFESSION NOT TO COME ACROSS AS AN ARROGANT SELF-ENTITLED WANKER. yOU MIGHT GET AWAY WITH IT OCCASIONALLY, BUT YOU CAN ONLY PLAY THAT GAME SO MANY TIMES BEFORE THE PUBLIC SEE WHO YOU REALLY ARE. rEMEMBER THAT A LITTLE HUMILITY CAN BE A GOOD THING.

iF YOU CAN MANAGE ALL OF THAT, THEN YOU HAVE A LONG AND GLORIOUS POLITICAL FUTURE AHEAD OF YOU.

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