The first Tuesday in November is always a huge day. It’s Melbourne Cup Day, and across the nation people will stop what they’re doing just after 5:00 pm, and turn the telly on to watch the big race.

Today is the day. The one day of the year when almost everyone in the country remembers they don’t really give a shit about horse racing.

The office sweepstake is a bit of fun, but you have no fucking clue who the horse you just picked out of the hat is, nor do you really care. You want to be a good sport, so you’ll go along and watch the race with your workmates or friends. But you have no idea who the favourite is, how many metres the horses have to race, what the entry criteria for the Cup is, or what the form of the leading horses is.

You do know that the race involves horses and is held in Melbourne. You also know that much of the TV and media coverage will focus on the rick fucks in the audience wearing their rich fuck hats.

It’s also a fair bet that a brown horse will win the stupid thing.

In summary, you don’t give a shit. But work is putting on free beer, so why wouldn’t you pretend to watch the race?

So enjoy this Melbourne Cup Day, because tomorrow you’ll have forgotten how much you just don’t give a shit about horse racing.