Conservatives: smack the kids.
Maori Party: help the Maori kids.
United Future: sensible policies for sensible kids.
Mana Party: listen, kids, to the racist white man and all his bullshit racist white man policies.
Greens: leave the world a better place for our kids.
National: our kids have already left New Zealand for a better place.
NZ First: you bloody kids!
ACT: sleep with your kids, as soon as they’re old enough.