Breaking: These Germans will be defeated.

In an exclusive report, Imperator Fish can now confirm that the Allies won World War Two.

We can now confirm that, despite a number of mistakes and reverses between 1939 and 1945, the Allies have been too strong for Hitler.

We are also calling the Pacific War for the Allies at this stage, and we expect official confirmation of their victory shortly.

The Allies were written off by many so-called experts, especially after the fall of France. The initial successes of the Germans during their invasion of Russia led to many of these armchair generals picking Hitler as the eventual victor, but here at Imperator Fish we never once wavered in our belief that the Allies would prevail.

This result will be a deep embarrassment to those commentators who picked a combined German/Japanese victory. They have been proven utterly wrong yet again, and it is only the fact that nearly all of them died long ago that prevents them from today experiencing utter humiliation.

The Allies’ victory in the War is a game-changer. It sets up a new battle between two global superpowers, capitalist America and socialist Russia, a battle we predict will ultimately be won by the socialist bloc.

Here at Imperator Fish we’re not afraid to make the big calls. That’s why we’re also sticking our necks out and calling the Second Punic War for Hannibal. The patience, manpower and military prowess of the Romans may frighten some people, but Hannibal is a tactical genius and has never lost a battle. Look out, Romans!