I was thinking that I might write something about the latest Roy Morgan Poll, which shows Labour and the Greens neck and neck with National.

But then I realised that nobody is going to pay me for my punditry, so why should I bother? If someone was paying me I would be able to write all sorts of hilariously wrong things about what it all means and not feel too bad about it, because, y’know, the money.

Sadly, the people who would pay good money for complete bullshit just don’t seem interested in what I have to offer. I’m sitting next to the phone, but it’s not ringing.

Making predictions based on political polls is a fool’s game. In spite of that, or perhaps because of that, I have been known from time to time to comment on what a particular poll might mean.

But I’m not going to go there again unless there’s money in it. If I’m going to be ludicrously wrong about what the polls mean, then I don’t see why I shouldn’t be paid for looking like a dick.

If any newspaper editors or talk radio show producers are reading this, do you need a commentator who combines partisanship with startling ignorance, and an ability to be spectacularly wrong about almost everything?

No? Oh, of course, I see now that all of those spots are taken.