Shane Jones’ decision to leave Labour is to be celebrated. But we must be on our guard, because others within the party hold similar views. Now is not the time for complacency!

Comrades!

Let us all celebrate the political demise of that most hated class enemy, Shane Jones.

Jones was the very epitome of everything we have worked against: he did not share the same political views as us on every single issue. The wrecker!

But our celebrations must be muted, for now is not the time for complacency. There are other enemies within the party to be flushed out! Soldiers of the great socialist revolution, be on your guard! Be on the lookout for anyone within the party who might hold incorrect opinions. And do not be swayed by those within the party who claim Jones’ departure is a bitter blow. How can anyone who disagrees with us on any issue be regarded as anything but a mortal enemy?

Those class enemies will claim that that for Labour to win power it must appeal to a broad range of voters. They will argue that Shane Jones appealed to a certain demographic: typically working class males, and many Maori.

These people will tell you they’re on your side. But don’t listen to their treacle words. “I didn’t like Shane Jones’ ongoing attacks on the Greens, women and other marginalised groups,” they will say, “and I didn’t vote for him during the leadership contest last year. In fact, I’m not even sure whether I particularly like him.  But the fact of the matter is that a lot of folk who wouldn’t normally consider voting for Labour like him. We can’t afford to jettison people like Jones. We are a broad-based party, and our members hold a range of different views on many issues. To gloat over Jones’ demise, as many now are, is idiotic and damaging to the party, because it tells everyone who supported Jones that Labour doesn’t want them.”

Do not be seduced by these words of moderation, compromise, and an appeal to common sense. Accommodate our enemies? Not for a second! Labour is strongest when it is united. United behind one leader, one vision, and one way of thinking. It is true that our particular way of thinking may not suit everyone, but they’ll come round once we have re-educated them.

And do not be discouraged if our quest for ideological purity results in a short term dip in support for Labour. This will be only temporary, and we should be back to where we were within a couple of generations.

The economists tell us that the scarcity of a resource makes it all the more valuable. So it will be with our supporters. Our dwindling support base, as we drive out of the party anyone who shared Jones’ views, will make those who remain within Labour more important. We will be an elite group, a small but dedicated party of ideas fighting the good fight against the bosses, the middle class, and a large chunk of the working class as well.

So keep up the fight, and be on the lookout for those who don’t agree with us. Send us their names, and we’ll add them to our list. Don’t worry, we already have Josie Pagani’s name at the top.