There is no housing crisis.

People aren’t living in garages or in tents, or in substandard housing. Large families are not being forced to live in crowded conditions in small unhealthy houses. Especially not in “affordable” suburbs like Massey.

There is no housing crisis.

People aren’t spending more than half of their income on just paying the rent or trying to service a huge mortgage.

There is no housing crisis.

The Reserve Bank’s LVR lending rules didn’t knock any first home buyers out of the market, and didn’t remove much of the competition for property speculators.

There is no housing crisis.

Everyone can afford to buy a house. If you can’t afford to buy where you want, then just move out of Auckland. To somewhere where the housing is cheap and there are no jobs.

There is no housing crisis.

Rates of home ownership are not falling.

There is no housing crisis.

The OECD didn’t just release a report showing that New Zealand houses are massively overvalued.

There is no housing crisis.

There is no tax incentive for people to buy up as many properties as they can, enjoying the windfall of a capital gain, and in turn driving up prices further.

There is no housing crisis.

There are plenty of cheap houses available on Trade Me. Oh, so it turns out that the “price indications under $400K” property listed on Trade Me that you tried to buy ended up selling for $470K. Oh well, next time. If you have $400K to spend, then I have a great one-bedroom apartment for you. You and your wife can sleep in the lounge, and your three kids can share a bedroom. Maybe they could take shifts?

There is no housing crisis.

There is no concrete data that overseas buyers are driving the price of housing up. Especially as the government has refused to look for any.

There is no housing crisis.

Rising house prices are good for the economy. They are also good for those who own properties in good areas, such as Parnell. Like the Prime Minister.

There is no housing crisis.

Because John Key says there isn’t one.