From Fairfax’s finest (and since changed)

It was on Stuff, so I suppose Jordan Williams figured it had to be true. The Taxpayers Onion apparently has researchers, but they’re probably too busy researching Atlas Shrugged to find out whether a sound recording really is a sentient being capable of threatening to kill people and have sex.

Personally, I don’t like this sort of thing. I’m not a prude, but I just don’t like my songs having sexual intercourse. If I’m going to share my music with others I don’t want to be thinking “but who has this song been with?” It will only ruin the moment.

That’s a pretty powerful statement. If you didn’t find the song offensive, then you’re just not a New Zealander. I’m pretty sure the people who wrote the song weren’t offended by it, so does that mean they’re not New Zealanders? It must. Why would Bob McCoskrie lie to us?

If he’s right and this song is the work of foreign devils, then we may just have a genuine scandal on our hands. NZ on Air is giving our money, my money, your money, away to foreigners! Isn’t that the real scandal in all of this, Jordan? Quick, another press release!