This election campaign may well go down in history as the dirtiest ever.

The revelations in Nicky Hager’s book Dirty Politics should shock all right-minded people. We have reached a new low when a minister of the Crown leaks the personal details of a civil servant, and when the Prime Minister refuses to take any action in response.

It is pretty clear that senior figures within the National Party are responsible for some of the poisonous filth being spread about by the likes of Cameron Slater. Judith Collins is Slater’s friend, and John Key phones him regularly.

But it’s not just people on the right behaving disgracefully. We should all agree that it’s totally unacceptable for anyone to sing about killing the Prime Minister and having sex with his daughter.

The ad hominem attacks need to end, and the threats of violence need to stop. We all need to calm down, take a deep breath, and focus on the issues.

My plea is that everyone involved in the election campaign, whether on the left or the right, takes in this message. Political debate should be respectful and constructive, and we shouldn’t have to resort to name-calling to get our points across.

It doesn’t matter that our opponents on the right are either poisonous Tory scum or delusional and disgusting libertarians. They are. But let’s put that aside and focus on the issues that matter to people.

Surely the biggest issue facing the public this election is the way in which this fascistic administration intends to smash our fragile democracy, destroy our economy, and sell our public assets on the cheap to its rich mates, those fat and parasitic capitalist vampires who would like nothing more than to feast on the lifeblood of the working classes.

So let’s focus on that issue, instead of engaging in hyperbole.

If we spend the entire election campaign throwing mud at our opponents, we’ll never be able to convince the public that our ideas are better than the other lot’s. Instead the voters will give those spiteful shits another three years to ruin, rape and pillage our country. Our opponents are evil people, and although killing would be too good for most of them, we have to accept the fact that the Crimes Act makes threatening these odious monsters with a painful and prolonged death a very bad idea indeed. So let’s agree that we can’t exterminate them all. Yet.

I’m sure our opponents are good decent people who just want the best for New Zealand, or at least some of them are, although I’ve never met one I didn’t want to spit on. So let’s not poison our political discourse with abusive language. The people of New Zealand are being turned off by dirty politics and they want to see a clean race. It shouldn’t be too much of an ask for us to rein in our emotions, at least until the election is over. Let’s fight hard but fair, and keep to ourselves what we really think about that pack of right-wing pustules exploding from the arse-end of the body politic. They are despicable people with despicable ideals, and the very thought of these traitorous maggots infesting the government benches fills me with an urge to commit acts of extreme violence.

So let’s agree to calm it all down. Let’s play the ball, not the man, even if the man deserves to be kicked in the nuts good and hard on account of his disgusting views, his offensive odours, and his unpleasant wife and ugly children.

I’m going to do everything I can to focus only on policy. Let’s talk about jobs, the economy, and the environment for a change. If we do that the public will see for themselves that we have all the answers, and that our opponents are all scum who deserve to be horsewhipped through the main streets of our biggest cities and towns while being pelted with manure.

If we on the left can present a compelling argument why our vision for a future New Zealand is a better one, the voters might just give our team a chance.

And if that doesn’t work, lets gather a mob, get our pitchforks out of storage, and drive these Natzis out of office.