Support Andrew Little

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A lot of Labour Party and other left-leaning folk have been bleating about Andrew Little and how disappointed they are that he is the new Labour leader.

But these people aren’t doing the party any good by moaning in public. What’s done is done, and it’s time to fall in behind the person chosen through a largely democratic process.

We must all focus on the need to defeat National in 2017, and not concern ourselves too much with the utter destruction of everything we had ever hoped to achieve for this country.

So what if our dreams for a better New Zealand under the inspirational leadership of our chosen candidate are now forever shattered? That’s no reason not to fall in behind Andrew Little. Little’s vicious and spiteful supporters may have denied us the one thing we desperately wanted for the party, but that’s no reason to take it out on Andrew Little, or indeed those vicious and spiteful supporters, bastards all of them. It’s their fault he’s leader now, that your candidate didn’t make it, and that everything is now utterly ruined.

But let’s stay positive.

There’s no point in crying over spilt milk, because the milk had probably been poisoned anyway by Little’s union mates, and nothing will be achieved by dwelling on this disgusting travesty of justice. I intend to give Andrew Little my full support, and so should you. Don’t dwell on the past, because focusing on this monstrous injustice will not do anyone any good. Don’t let your entirely understandable rage get the better of you. Support Andrew as leader, because we need unity as a party, and the worst thing we can possibly do is show the world how divided we really are by this appalling result. You may well regard Andrew Little’s election as Labour Party leader as the final nail in Labour’s coffin, but don’t be too hasty to rush to judgement. Room can always be found for a few more nails.

So our candidate didn’t make it. Big deal. Harden up. It’s not the end of the world. The fact that our chosen person lost the contest may well mean the death of a once-proud party, but life will go on. Your life may not necessarily go on, of course, because this dreadful blow will almost certainly drive you to drink and hard drugs, which in turn will destroy all your most valuable personal relationships and lead to your sleeping rough in parks and alleyways and eating scraps from rubbish bins, and someone will one day come across your lifeless body lying in a gutter. But that’s no reason to feel bitter. Get over it.

Andrew Little won the contest fair and square, so why shouldn’t we back him? This party is bigger than me or you. We need unity, and if that means swallowing a few bitter pills then they may as well be cyanide capsules, because we can’t live any more. But we can still support the Labour Party leader.

I support Andrew Little as Labour Party leader. That’s all there is to it. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a large bottle of vodka to drink.

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