On this sugar tax madness

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So what the heck is wrong with sugary drinks anyway?

There are plenty of things worse than the occasional soft drink. Like Islamic State, or athlete’s foot, or genital warts. Shouldn’t we tax these things first, before we attack those delicious and very reasonably-priced soft drinks that bring such joy to the lives of our beloved children?

The people who want to tax our drinks think they have a right to tell you how to behave. Your parents or grandparents may have fought in the last world war, but are these to be the fruits of their hard-fought victory? Was if for this that our courageous men laid down their lives at Crete, Cassino and El Alamein? Taxing the corporations who put sugar into our food isn’t sensible, and it has nothing to do with public health. It’s tyranny, pure and simple. When despots take control this is always how it starts. It starts with them telling us what we can eat, and before you know it they’re marching down our main thoroughfares in black uniforms, invading other countries, and gassing people.

Who doesn’t like sugar? Sugar is great, and it makes us feel good. Reducing sugar levels will only make people sad and miserable, just like the do-gooders behind these punitive measures. The fact that these killjoys want to ruin everything with their stupid taxes is evidence that some people need more sugar, not less.

Taxing sugar won’t even do anything to reduce levels of obesity or diabetes, or any other disease. There’s no evidence that people are eating too much sugar. None at all. If there was any evidence, why wasn’t it included in the information the food industry lobbyists gave me?

Critics of the big food companies sometime accuse them of cherry-picking scientific data to support their arguments about sugar, but that’s absurd. I thought these people wanted us to eat more fruit and less junk, but now they’re on the attack against cherries! Their critiques make no sense!

Now just in case you think I have been got to by the food industry, let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth.  I want to make it clear that these are my own views. People value my opinions as a fiercely independent blogger, so why shouldn’t I charge for them?