Nuclear war? Maybe, but it might not be all bad

We should take seriously the recent threats by Russia’s President to use tactical nuclear weapons in Ukraine. It is hard to imagine any use of nuclear weapons that wouldn’t result in global chaos and instability, to say nothing of the death and destruction within the blast area itself. We should do everything we can to reduce the risk of a nuclear attack. But would a nuclear war be so bad?

If Putin were to go all-in on tactical nukes, the result would be a catastrophe involving mass loss of life and the destruction of property on a scale barely imaginable. But let’s focus on the positives. While many of the victims of an attack would be good, honest hard-working people, at least some of the dead would be tiresome social justice types.

The detonation of even a moderately sized nuclear weapon would likely have a monstrous impact on global stability. It is the sort of event that might send markets into a panic, a death spiral wrecking economies and destroying the livelihoods of millions of people. It would see the demise of the global economy as we know it. As ruin and woe became the norm, our democracies would inevitably fall prey to demagogues and extremists offering easy solutions to the new misery of our lives. Dissidents and dissenters would be imprisoned or even killed. Free speech would be abolished, and all the rights we take for granted would be taken away. The authorities would also crack down hard on social media. I don’t know what some people would do if they didn’t have Twitter. Where would the woke folk do all their virtue-signalling? I guess the poor snowflakes could try asking their concentration camps guards for the WiFi password.

The reaction by the West to any nuclear attack on Ukraine would be severe, so severe that it could potentially trigger all-out global war. We might even date the start of World War Three to the moment of first detonation. A global nuclear war would snuff out millions of lives, perhaps even billions, leaving those few survivors to struggle on in a contaminated hellscape. And what of their future children? The radiation unleashed by a nuclear holocaust would result in disease and deformities for generations to come. But at least the young would know adversity. The day-to-day horror and hardship of their lives would breed character and steel, which would surely be no bad thing when you look at our current generation of entitled young people. Most of them wouldn’t last a week without access to TikTok.

If Putin follows through with his threat he will have the blood of thousands, perhaps millions of people on his hands. He will be looked upon as one of history’s great villains, a mass-murderer to match or even exceed the wickedness and cruelty of that other notable Russian monster, Joseph Stalin. But he will also have the thanks of fed-up taxpayers sick to death of all these PC culture-cancelling wokesters. When humanity is left to scratch around like insects in the dirt for any sort of nutrition, there won’t be time to invent new gender pronouns.

Any nuclear detonation would be a disaster for the entire world. Imagine the death and misery even a moderately-sized bomb would cause. The damage to the environment would be truly horrifying. Forests, waterways and other precious eco-systems would be wiped out or forever contaminated. It would also dismay environmentalists and other do-gooder types. All very regrettable, of course, but at least you would get to hear the anguished screams of the tree-huggers as everything they loved went up in flames.

There wouldn’t be money for hand-outs to the indolent or idle after the dust settled on our wrecked economies. Young people would finally have to get off their backsides and work just to survive. No more hours spent on social media cancelling anyone who just wants to exercise free speech. And let’s not feel too sorry for all the people complaining that there wouldn’t be enough food to eat after a nuclear war. The world doesn’t owe anyone a living. Once there is true hunger the people will discover that insects are a good source of protein.

So while a nuclear war would be potentially fatal to us all, there are plenty of reasons for positivity. We might all die screaming and writhing as the flames consumed us, but at least we would be able to say we owned the libs.

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