Justice Minister Simon Power has asked the Law Commission to investigate all the shit that annoys him. The Minister made the announcement after reading this morning’s Dominion Post. “There’s a whole pile of legal shit happening, and most of it I don’t understand,” said Mr Power. “But some of it really pisses me off.” The…
Rodney Hide has claimed that a proposed change to the Marine and Coastal Area (Takutai Moana) Bill to prevent Maori from charging for beach access is a “win” for ACT. “I’ve never seen a new MP achieve a major policy win on behalf of all New Zealanders on their first day. It’s a stunning achievement…
Wellington mayor Kerry Prendergast has lashed out at the voting system that saw her lose the Wellington mayoralty to Celia Wade-Brown. “It’s outrageous that the will of the majority of right-leaning voters has been disregarded,” said Prendergast. She has called on the Government to look at reforming the way local election voting occurs. Political expert…
Chris Carter promised last night that he would dish the dirt on Labour if they kicked him out of the party. We don’t have to wait for Carter to release the dirt. I have it. Someone close to Carter has leaked the explosive material to me. You won’t believe your eyes, so sit down and…
TV host Herman Pond has this morning apologised for comparing Jews to animals and for praising Adolf Hitler. Pond found himself mired in controversy after making his comments on air during an interview with the Prime Minister yesterday. Pond apologised yesterday for causing offence to “the race that killed Christ”. And this morning he began the…
A prominent breakfast television host has again caused controversy, after an on-air tirade comparing Jewish people to animals. The host of Aotearoa TV’s Rise and Shine, Herman Pond, made the remarks during an interview with the Prime Minister, John Key, this morning. Mr Pond claimed that Hollywood was controlled by Jews and that Jewish people should…
It appears that the dispute over the One Ring is no closer to being resolved, despite meetings between the interested parties over the last few days. A series of meetings last week between hobbit representatives and Mordor officials failed to strike a deal. The hobbits are believed to have rejected the latest deal put on…
I was at the gym yesterday working out and feeling pumped, when it suddenly came to me. I suddenly realise what makes all those fat poor people sad, and why I’m deliriously happy with my life. It’s not the expensive late model car, the flash house in Parnell, the fact that both I and my…
Twenty-seven tyrants and generals speak out against the meddlesome legal profession We write as a group of concerned despots and monsters with expertise in the area of unconstitutional practices. Earlier today a letter signed by twenty-seven respected legal academics was published, condemning the wide powers granted to the Government under the Canterbury Earthquake Response and…
Uncompromising left-wing columnist and Chairman of the Workers Solidarity Party of Aotearoa, Bob Mittsky, gives his picks for the local body election Comrades, Now that the local body elections are upon us we must mobilise our forces. By choosing carefully who we vote for we can achieve many of our aims with a lot less…
Imperator Fish 
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