Simon Says Abolish All This Shit

Justice Minister Simon Power has asked the Law Commission to investigate all the shit that annoys him.

The Minister made the announcement after reading this morning’s Dominion Post.

“There’s a whole pile of legal shit happening, and most of it I don’t understand,” said Mr Power.

“But some of it really pisses me off.”

The Law Commission review will be headed by Professor John Burrows QC. The review will be ongoing, for as long as Mr Power remains Justice Minister. It will report six-monthly on its findings and recommendations.

The terms of reference for the review are extremely broad.

“Basically any issue that particularly fucks me off on any given day,” said Mr Power.

“Bloggers, priests, jaywalkers, drunk drivers, that guy behind the counter in Bellamy’s who sneers every time I come in. If I’m pissed about something, then it’s the job of the Law Commission to put it right.”

Mr Power says the public would have the opportunity to have their say on any recommendations put forward by the Law Commission.

“Consultation? Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever. We’ll go through any necessary formalities, before doing exactly what we want. Of course we will. This isn’t North Korea, you know.”

Mr Power said that the first issue the Law Commission will examine is the application of the law to the Internet and new forms of media.

“I want to know if we can abolish the Internet, or failing that at least criminalise it.”