I have a great idea for a TV show. It’s a drama about a hopelessly dysfunctional family and all the crap they get themselves into. Let me give you the basic outline. The husband is big man on the factory floor, and everyone calls him “sir” at work. But he’s also a bully who behaves…

Dear Apple. I don’t care about your iPad. It’s just another over-hyped gadget that looks pretty but actually isn’t that good. I won’t be buying one in a hurry. This tablet has all the features I need.  

When last we visited our intrepid hero he was falling to what seemed a certain death. Oh no! Can anything save him? Let the story continue. My hands were shaking as I pushed open the door and slipped silently into the DG’s private quarters. I had little time to spare, but nothing was going to…

Now that Switzerland has refused to extradite Roman Polanski to the US, the acclaimed film director can finally relax a little and get back to what he does best. So is it time for him to start raping children again? Actress Whoopi Goldberg has spoken up in defence of Polanski (“it wasn’t rape-rape”). She has…

It’s time we grew up as a nation and got ourselves a police state I’m sure you’ll agree we gave it a good crack. It seemed to be going well for a while, and then it just seemed like we had a bad run of things. Now we can’t get back to where we need…

A special in-depth report on the complex issue of overseas investment in New Zealand The ongoing attempts by a Hong Kong company to acquire the Crafar farms are the latest development in a recent trend of foreign devils buying our land, according to official figures obtained yesterday. The figures show that acquisitions by overseas bloodsuckers…

Dictators, monsters and corrupt rulers, be very afraid. Lincoln University has revoked an honorary degree awarded to a former Peruvian president who was last year jailed for ordering two massacres and committing other human rights crimes. Lincoln vice- chancellor Roger Field said the decision to revoke Alberto Fujimori’s science doctorate was met by a round…

The directors of failed company Feltex have blamed their accountants for the troubles that beset the company. Because we all know it’s always someone else’s fault when things go wrong, I’ve put together a list of the top ten responses directors and corporate executives can use when the receivers or the Serious Fraud Office come…

They led me into a spacious room. It was dimly lit, but even in the shadows I could detect the presence of others – yet more of them in those standout orange overalls, just like the two who guided me in. I guessed they were armed, and that they were highly trained. It would not…

Hi all This is just to let you know that I may not be able to blog for a while. In fact, I’m not sure when I’ll next have access to a computer. It appears I may have to go away for a while. I’m not sure for how long, but I expect to be told this…