Ten Important Questions

Now that Switzerland has refused to extradite Roman Polanski to the US, the acclaimed film director can finally relax a little and get back to what he does best. So is it time for him to start raping children again?

Actress Whoopi Goldberg has spoken up in defence of Polanski (“it wasn’t rape-rape”). She has also recently spoken in support of Mel Gibson. Does this now leave her judgement of people at the same level as her acting ability?

Should Andy Haden give her a call?

The police have been struggling to deal with a large number of disciplinary issues in recent months, and a number of cops have been before the courts on assault and other charges. So should we give criminals the right to arm themselves, to protect them against rogue cops?

New Zealand’s carbon emissions reduced last year, thanks partly to the recession, while our Government continues to do little to encourage economic growth. Should we now recognise National’s utter inaction as a stroke of environmental genius?

When John Key talks about what a solid position the Government’s books are in, compared with other countries, will he now admit this is because of the years of surplus under the previous Government and its refusal to buckle to his demands for sweeping tax cuts?

And when Key talks about closing the income gap with Australia by 2025, is his plan still to hope that the entire east coast of Australia is destroyed by bushfires, tsunamis and earthquakes?

Does the fact the All Whites went through the World Cup unbeaten represent a symbolic victory for white supremacists?

Is our dizzying success at the World Cup in not winning a game, and with only fifty-three countries now ranked higher than us, the greatest moment in our sporting history?

If so, should we maybe try setting our sights a little higher?