Dear Diary It‘s been a pretty busy few days. Went down the line to see some Maoris, and some old bloke got up and said I was doing really well. It’s a pity visiting the Marae is a bit of a drag. It’s all talk talk talk! I heard the Ratana people say they wanted…
Our armed forces in Afghanistan are apparently using gun sights that have biblical inscriptions on them. According to the Herald: The New Zealand soldiers were issued with Trijicon advanced combat optical gun sights but defence officials have only just learned they had a biblical inscription put on them by the American manufacturer, Trijicon Incorporated. The…
Best day EVA!! I got to meet a real prince and shake his hand and stuff. He’s so cool. And all the cameras were there and everything. I got to spend like the entire day with him! And he has sooo many amazing stories! And he’s such a chilled out dude too. We had a…
Copyright and brand owners were celebrating yesterday after a United States court issued a landmark ruling. The ruling came after Masbrell Toys sued Mr Santa Claus for copyright, patent and trade mark infringement. Masbell alleged the manufacture and distribution by Mr Claus of toys for the children of the world infringed numerous rights held by…
Panic has swept the country as people struggle to deal with the impact of environmental disaster. The announcement that a food and beverages stall would be permitted at Cathedral Cove has stunned the environmental movement. And the international community has expressed concern and dismay. The Prime Minister was reportedly returning to NZ late last night,…
I am now a futurist! The Herald yesterday ran an article about what life in 2030 will be like. The story included an interview by a well-known “futurist”. There have always been futurists. But once upon a time they gazed at the entrails of sheep. Nowadays they specialise in predicting new trends or technologies. So…
Only one more sleep now until the jolly fat man comes visiting. Although I’m not sure where Gerry Brownlee is spending Christmas this year. I hope you all get to spend an enjoyable Christmas with your families and friends, even imaginary ones. And if you have a wife or girlfriend my ardent Christmas wish is…
Cabinet yesterday approved plans for pirate flags to fly on many government buildings on September 19 next year. The Jolly Roger will fly from the Auckland Harbour Bridge, the Beehive, Parliament, and other important sites, Prime Minister John Key and Aotearoa Pirate Party leader Captain Jack Barbarossa announced yesterday. The Prime Minister told the press…
Part One – Global Warming In a debate between economist Gareth Morgan and climate change denier Ian Wishart on Close Up the other night, 77% of viewers decided Wishart made the better argument on whether global warming exists. And climate change deniers claim that the leaked emails from prominent climate scientists prove global warming is…
Hanover Finance director Mark Hotchin attended a meeting of the company’s investors yesterday, and spoke about how the company’s plight had affected him personally. Emotional and struggling to hold back tears, Hotchin told the gathered investors about the pain he felt. “The recession has left me financially devastated,” he explained. “I feel your pain. I…
Imperator Fish 
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