My Picks For 2010

I am now a futurist!

The Herald yesterday ran an article about what life in 2030 will be like. The story included an interview by a well-known “futurist”.

There have always been futurists. But once upon a time they gazed at the entrails of sheep. Nowadays they specialise in predicting new trends or technologies.

So if I want to become a futurist how do I get me some of that? Is there a futurist school? A degree in futurism?

Perhaps it’s one of those things you just decide one day to put on your business cards. Therefore I am now a futurist*.

However, I don’t want to get carried away with myself. So I’ll stick to next predicting the events of 2010. I am confident most of these picks are good ones.

  • Spaceships: Yes, that’s right. We’ll all be flying to work in space craft. Well you won’t. Because as part of the new environmental protection laws to be passed in April, you will become a burden on society. You will be given a month to reduce your net emissions, failing which you will be liquidated.
  • Pestilence: Thankfully an influenza plague will finish you off before you are despatched.
  • World War Three: But by December the rest of us will be living a feeble existence in a post-apocalyptic world. The few hundred ragged survivors of the nuclear catastrophe will be looking for a leader, and I will conveniently turn up with a battle-truck.
  • John Key will still be smiling.

* I also have an interest in history, but “pastist” doesn’t sound quite so compelling.