Now The Terrorists Are Using Mindpower!

The Terrorists have unleashed a new evil weapon. Its simplicity is terrifying.

A Qantas passenger is being questioned by Singapore police after threatening to bring down a flight with the power of his mind, the ABC reports.

A spokesman for the Australian airline said a passenger was restrained yesterday evening on QF31 – a Sydney to Singapore flight – after behaving in a “threatening and disruptive manner”.  

An ABC reporter on the flight said passengers sitting near the man believed he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol or both, and had religious delusions.

The man was restrained in his chair after threatening to use mind power to bring down the plane about five hours into the seven-and-a-half-hour flight, reporter Nick Luchinelli said.

Authorities are right to take this kind of threat seriously. If we let passengers go about thinking willy-nilly about stuff we’ll all end up paying the price. Because how can we be sure They won’t think bad thoughts?

Many of you will think this is just ridiculous, and that nobody can bring down a plane just by the power of their thoughts. Wrong! The Secret tells us that we create our own universes, and that what we think will become our reality.

So if the person sitting next to you on the plane looks deep in thought (reading a book is a telltale sign), do the right thing. You don’t have time to call the cabin attendants, because that will just tip the Evildoer off, and before you know it you’ll be in freefall. Grab something heavy (anything will do: a shoe, a bag, a meal tray) and start smashing the Terrorist over the head with it. Don’t stop until that deep-in-thought look has gone.

Do it for all the victims of Terrorism. Do it! Do it!*

* Disclaimer: Please don’t actually do this. Or if you do, don’t say it was my idea. Thank you.