Terrorists Who Inconvenienced Brave Israelis Got What They Deserved

Israel has launched a searing verbal attack on the terrorists who inconvenienced its soldiers yesterday.

The incident occurred after Israeli military forces intercepted a terror fleet bound for Gaza, a notorious viper’s den where terrorists operate with impunity.

Israel has been engaged in a brave battle against terrorism in Gaza for many years. The terror fleet was laden with supplies to support the insurgents’ vicious war of aggression, such as baby food, tinned pears and water purification equipment.

Witnesses to the incident have said that the Israelis dropped men onto the terror ships in order to plead with the ships’ captains to turn back. Soldiers brought with them flowers and other peace offerings in the hope of convincing the terrorists that their anti-Semitic actions were wrong and immoral, and that Israel merely wished to live in peaceful co-existence with its neighbours.

But the terrorists then launched an all-out attack on the Israelis.

The Israeli government denounced the tactics of those on board the boats.

“When our men landed they were witness to a mass martyrdom by the terrorists. Many of them went so far as to shoot themselves, just to gain notoriety”, said the Prime Minister’s spokesman Ari Mustelinitz.

“Others ran at our peace-loving men waving weapons and threatening them harm. As a veteran of twenty years in the army, I have seen firsthand the damage these weapons can do. Bread sticks are especially vicious instruments of war, and if they make contact the effect can be painful. You’ll know what it’s like if you’ve ever got a breadcrumb in the eye. It can be painfully itchy for up to half an hour.

“And don’t underestimate the threat of the banana. We all know how lethal a banana skin can be if left lying on the ground.”

The Israeli Defence Force was last night counting the cost of the terror attack on its men. One man reportedly received a grazed knee after landing awkwardly on the deck of a terror ship. Officials confirmed that another soldier suffered a blister on his trigger finger, while a commando twisted an ankle tripping over the corpse of a terrorist.

But the Israeli government will also be counting the economic cost of the incident. The laundry bill is likely to run into the hundreds of shekels, thanks to the crude attacks.

“The terrorists have no respect for the lives of people, but nor do they respect property,” said Mr Mustelinitz.

“We have dozens of stained and bloody uniforms to wash. We all know how hard it will be to wash away the blood of these people”.