Containment Cap May Fix Toxic Laws Leak

I reported last month on efforts to clean up a toxic spill by Michael Laws. This post is an update on those efforts.

MediaWorks executives announced today that they are a step closer to capping the toxic spill that has been overwhelming the airwaves.

The company’s engineers have inserted a containment cap into the mouth of the blowhole, and are cautiously optimistic that the cap will hold.

The toxic spill erupted in February, though it has since been revealed that a number of earlier incidents had occurred.

The capping of Laws’ mouth has been a difficult exercise, with engineers reporting high levels of fatigue and stress. The operation has also been highly dangerous, as the person they are dealing with is highly volatile and explosive, and is liable to chew up anyone who gets too close.

It is not known what will happen if the cap over the orifice from which the vitriol spews holds. Some experts have speculated that the enormous pressure from pent-up hot gases could cause an enormous and odiferous eruption from an even less pleasant orifice.

Engineers are closely monitoring pressure levels, and are watching to ensure Mr Laws does not go red in the face, start sweating, and begin bouncing up and down while shaking his fists. They are all tell-tale signs of an explosion.

Executives at MediaWorks will be relieved if the cap holds and there are no further incidents. They have been under fire for giving Mr Laws a daily platform with which to assail and pollute the airwaves.

The company has been badly affected by Laws’ spill. It has also allocated a share of its profits to help those adversely affected by the spill.

MediaWorks says that they should know by the end of next week whether Laws has been successfully plugged.