John’s Diary: 19/7/10

Well that was a pretty good conference.

While I don’t want to take all the credit for our success, it was nice to stand there basking in my own glory. The people love me. I hope Bill was watching. To think that only a couple of years ago he reckoned he was just as capable a leader as me.

But not all of our nation’s recent successes are down to me. I don’t want to take all the credit for the success of our gallant team the All Whites, because after all football is a team game, and I’m sure the guys on the field must have had some part to play. But I was there when we beat Italy one-all. And I’m just about the biggest supporter of the All Blacks you’ll find, and aren’t they doing well at the moment? Coincidence?

I met a pizza guy the other night, Sanjay Kumar, and he told me he wanted a proper job. This guy is a highly skilled migrant who has a Master’s degree in Zoology, and a business diploma, and he just can’t get work, so he’s forced to deliver pizza for a living. Sanjay made me think of the employment reforms we’re pushing through, and how they’ll help migrants like him get decent high-paying jobs. I should have put Sanjay at the entrance to the Sky City Convention Centre. He might have been able to help identify some of the scruffy feral lifeforms howling and charging at police. LOL!

Our get-tough crime measures are sure impressing the voters, because there’s nothing the public want more than to see hippies and deadbeats punished. I’m also glad that Simon is cracking down on the Catholics. Those turbulent priests won’t be able to pop our balloons and other inflatables any longer. Once more we have made the public safe. LOL!

We’re shelving Gerry’s mining plans, because the people don’t like ’em. To be fair, it’s actually Gerry the people don’t like. He could be announcing plans to give away free cash to everyone and he’d probably manage to do it in such a sneering and haughty way that people would end up throwing it back.

Anne’s a dead loss too, but what am I meant to do with her? If I ditch her the other lot will just start crowing. But she even makes Maurice look smart. I wonder if the 90 day trial period laws can be extended to include Cabinet members. I should be able to sack them without any political comeback.

But there’s been quite a lot of excitement over those new workplace law changes. The usual rabble protested and jumped up and down, but they don’t represent the views of real New Zealanders. I know exactly how real New Zealanders see the world, because Rodney tells me.

Murray’s been in fine form, blasting the ARC for its decision on Party Central, only to sign off on the ARC plan a week later and take the credit for it. He’s overseas again, off to Kabul for a government conference. I told Murray last week that I felt for him, and didn’t envy his having to sit through lengthy conference sessions chaired by politicians from a failed and incompetent government. We agreed the twice in a week was a tough ask. LOL!

And now I have to plan for the rest of the week. Pizza guy is coming over soon to help me make sense of Anne’s latest proposals.