No-nonsense authoritarian libertarian columnist Dr. Frank Shizenhausen is back, with another hard-hitting attack on the media

Dear Sirs

I was hopeful that the New Zealand Herald’s “You be the judge” project would help to transform the way we think about justice issues.

But I have been left bitterly disappointed.

The Herald’s effort to place readers in the shoes of judges could have helped people appreciate the difficult job our magistrates have to perform, but your newspaper went about it all the wrong way.

Any judicial weighing-up exercise needs to take into account the needs of the victims and the need for retribution; and not a set of arbitrary considerations like whether the offender pleaded guilty, or what the maximum sentence for the offence happens to be.

I simply refuse to participate in any online sentencing exercise that does not include as options death by hanging, shooting by firing squad, or burning as a witch.

It says a lot about the rampant left-wing bias of your newspaper that stoning to death isn’t included as an option. The left has always been soft on crimes against property, so we can hardly be surprised at the omission of various bloody and brutal forms of death for stealing: the socialists are the biggest thieves of all.

We have seen a slow and steady erosion of personal responsibility ever since they abolished the witchcraft laws. Taking all medieval forms of execution off the table sends a message to offenders that they can do as they please, without fear of being burnt at the stake.

Is this the sort of world we want for our children?

Please regard this letter as formal notice that I am cancelling my newspaper subscription with immediate effect! Apart from the Herald on Sunday, but only because Damien Grant is such a cracking good writer.

Yours, etc.

Dr. Frank Shizenhausen

PS Please also don’t cancel my Woman’s Weekly subscription.