When I started this site I set out to make it a powerful voice for change. I wanted those politicians in Wellington to quiver in fear at the thought of becoming the subject of one of my posts.

I wanted to change the world. I wanted to make a difference.

Now that I have succeeded, what else is there left to achieve? Nobody can predict the future, but if posterity does not award me the title of Most Influential Blogger of All Time, I would be very surprised.

So what better time than now to retire and enjoy some of the huge earnings my blogging career has brought me?

I met a lot of people while I ran this site. Bloggers, media people, journos, social media types, and the like. Some of them I genuinely liked, while others I had less time for. Some of those people should perhaps also retire from the thing they do, or perhaps even be retired, for the sake of all humankind. If I have any regrets about my departure from the blogosphere, it is that I never got the chance to see even one of these people stripped naked and whipped until bleeding, sewn into a sack with a viper, a rooster, a dog and an ape, and then thrown into the sea.

Like a champion heavyweight boxer who has defeated all before him, I am retiring on top of the world. I will now go back to my mansion and enjoy the finer things in life, not for a moment missing the thrill of the fight.

And when I will have squandered all of my riches on narcotics, prostitutes and pet tigers, I will come back for another go. I will return to the ring a mere shadow of the great man I once was, and what a desperately sad sight it will be for everyone forced to watch.

I’ll come back for money.