Comrades!

In our relentless fight against the Covid-19 threat we have already achieved marvels. Our essential worker heroes are accomplishing great feats and are labouring tirelessly in this battle for our very survival. Each and every citizen has been called upon by our Great Leader to make sacrifices for the greater glory of Aotearoa. With unshakeable resolve, and a firm commitment to the doctrine of kindness, we will prevail!

But we cannot rest on our achievements, for there is much more to be done! Our microbial enemy is everywhere. It thrives on secrecy! It could be on the hands of your parents. It could be on your neighbour’s fence. You could even be carrying Covid-19 on your clothing. Our only defence is to self-isolate, to follow our Great Leader’s directives, and to mercilessly expose the enemies among us. We must have iron discipline if we are to prevail!

We must be ruthless in purging this disease, but we must be equally ruthless in smashing those who flout our lockdown rules. When their deceitful and egregious crimes are exposed they may claim the rules aren’t clear and could be interpreted in different ways. But do not be tricked by their arguments! Our enemies seek to sow confusion and doubt, to weaken our resolve. Resist them with every fibre of your being! These wreckers, saboteurs and reactionaries are all enemies of the state and must be dealt with using the harshest means possible. In these unprecedented times, we must not be constrained by traditional methods of punishment. Nor must we be soft-hearted in dealing with these enemies. They must be subjected to citizen-initiated terror! Be on the lookout for strangers in your community. Warn your children about people behaving suspiciously. Confront anyone whose behaviour does not conform to the correct standard. Denounce these dogs on social media. And if in doubt, inform the authorities!

We must also be merciless in our treatment of those parasites who would use their media platforms to publicly question the decisions that have been made, particularly those running dogs now challenging the rationale for the rules our kindly and beneficent leaders have gifted us with. This behaviour will not be tolerated. It is every citizen’s duty to flush out these traitors who bear a bestial hatred for our leaders. Left unchallenged, they will infest our populace with defeatism and incorrect thinking!

We must be unshakeable in our resolve to defeat these reactionary rats. Death to this stinking gang of rabid dogs!

And remember, Comrades, be kind!