What have you done to improve yourself during this lockdown?

So far I have:

• Learned two new languages
• Started three new businesses
• Quit smoking
• Lost 13 kgs of weight
• Designed a new app
• Achieved a target of 400 push-ups a day
• Raised $130,000 for food banks and charities, just from my desk
• Redecorated my entire house
• Written over 400 pages of my first novel
• Learned to play the guitar
• Launched my own YouTube channel
• Developed a prototype vaccine for Covid-19
• Drawn up plans for the invasion of Poland.

And that’s just during the daytime! By night I have discovered a number of new star systems with my home telescope, cooked delicious and nutritious meals for my entire family, and made love to my wife hundreds and hundreds of times. And I feel great!

We all need to make the most of this time given to us. No excuses! If you haven’t invented nuclear fusion, found a cure for cancer, or launched a political party with widespread voter support, then your problem is not a lack of time. You’re just not trying.

My next challenge is to become an expert in epidemiology and public health. I ought to have that polished off by the end of the week. It’s really not that hard if you’re prepared to put the work in.

So what’s your excuse? You have only yourself to blame if you don’t come out of this lockdown as a superhuman with enormous muscles, a towering intellect, and fluency in numerous languages.

And now, if you will excuse me, I think I’ll go back to reading In Search of Lost Time, by Marcel Proust. Only a few pages to go now.