Well fuck me, I had a day yesterday. There was me looking forward to a big weekend watching the boys smashing the Aussies in the league when the phone goes and, would you know it, it’s me old mate John Key. “John,” I says, “Mate!” “Peter,” he says. “I need a favour”. He tells me…
I haven’t had time to take a good look at the 2025 Taskforce Report, but hope to do so in the next day or so. In the meantime, to get you thinking, here are some selected extracts from the report. Revelation 1 1. The Revelation of Don, which God gave unto him, to show unto…
Radio New Zealand has announced the appointment of a replacement on Morning Report for Sean Plunket. Michael Laws was announced as the new co-presenter of the show, effective from early January. Mr Laws will be based in Radio New Zealand’s Whanganui studio. The move is being regarded as a change in direction for the public…
Talk is cheap. It’s time to unleash Hell. The British have really stuffed us this time. It will now cost up to NZD$356 in taxes for a passenger to fly from the UK to New Zealand and Australia. This outrage has the potential to derail our tourism industry, which still relies heavily on British visitors,…
The Labour Party has attacked the appointment of Murray Sherwin as head of the Productivity Commission. Labour Party spokesman Dwayne “The Dude” Baker said that abolishing the Productivity Commission would be one of its first acts upon regaining office. “Dude, a productivity commission is so, like, lame,” said Mr Baker as he sank into his…
A personal message from Bob Mittsky, Chairman of the Workers Solidarity Party of Aotearoa. YOU! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! SCAB! WRECKER! SNIVELLING RUNNING DOG! YOU THINK YOUR BETRAYAL OF THE WORKERS WON’T COME AT A PRICE TO YOU? THINK AGAIN, FASCIST DOG! THE REVOLUTION IS COMING, AND WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE…
Let’s hear it for our wonderful Prime Minister! Bernie Ecclestone is right. If we have learned one thing from the Hobbit debacle it is that democracy is the enemy of good government. When you consider how close we were to losing the Hobbit films, the unavoidable conclusion is that John Key should have been put…
Now that the Hobbit films are here to stay, and that we have established that the ham-fisted attempts by the actors union to negotiate were a handy pretext to enable Warner Bros to extract more cash from us, let’s look at the deal struck today. I’ve now had time to look at the terms. John…
After a lengthy meeting with Warner Bros executives yesterday afternoon, Prime Minister John Key said that changes would have to be made to labour relations laws if the The Hobbit films were to be filmed in New Zealand. “Warners have said the only reason the film may not be made in New Zealand is the…
I have had a contact in the Beehive (Let’s just call him Bill) drop a bombshell today. He sent me a pile of emails from the PM’s own computer. I can’t even guess how he got hold of them, but he insists I publish them, even though it puts him at great personal risk. The…
Imperator Fish 
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