Sometimes when you’re a prominent politician your memory can play tricks on you. It’s like that time when I accused my opponent of dipping into ratepayer funds to pay for posh lunches, only to suddenly remember I’d been reimbursed for a few fancy feeds myself. I’d so completely forgotten about any of that. Or like…
The recent crucifixion of Jesus by the Romans has proven to be a marketing Midas touch for Judea, according to branding experts. The brave effort of the Romans in nailing up the Son of God has captured the imagination of the entire province, and has seen Judea’s stocks riding high. The unexpected success of the…
Dictators, monsters and corrupt rulers, be very afraid. Lincoln University has revoked an honorary degree awarded to a former Peruvian president who was last year jailed for ordering two massacres and committing other human rights crimes. Lincoln vice- chancellor Roger Field said the decision to revoke Alberto Fujimori’s science doctorate was met by a round…
There was an altercation in Parliament today as reactionary forces, led by the Speaker of the House, Lockwood Smith, attempted to fly the New Zealand flag. The incident sparked an official protest by the Chinese government, and a formal apology from the governor of the province, John Key. An investigation is now under way to…
All Whites captain Ryan Nelsen has said John Key was the difference between New Zealand and Italy today. New Zealand beat the fancied Italian team 1-1 in their World Cup encounter at Nelspruit this morning. The result has stunned the football world. Nelsen spoke after the game about the inspiration behind their victorious draw. “This…
I am speaking to you from the Koru Lounge at Auckland International Airport, shortly before I get on a plane to South Africa. This morning the New Zealand Ambassador in Beijing handed the Chinese Government a final note stating that unless we heard from them by 11:00 am that they were prepared at once to…
Introducing award winning therapist, real estate agent, and clairvoyant to the stars, Pamela de Bonbon. If you have a problem that needs fixing, she can help. Relationship problems? Want the winning lotto numbers? Runny bottom that won’t respond to treatment? Pam can help. Dear Pam It sure has been tough these last few days. My…
Is this the best news story ever?* A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria when he made a rude gesture at a group of Hells Angels, hurled a puppy at them and then escaped on a stolen bulldozer. The 26-year-old drove into the grounds of the motorcycle gang members’ clubhouse north of…
MediaWorks, the company that owns Radio Live, has suspended all dividend payments for this financial year. The company has been under intense scrutiny, after an on-air explosion by Radio Live talkback host Michael Laws sent noxious pollution into the airwaves. MediaWorks has been accused of not doing enough to prevent the explosion, and of failing…
Our effort in securing a draw against Slovakia in the World Cup is admirable, and deserving of celebration. That is because we’re a small nation. Unlike mighty Slovakia, which doth bestride the world like a Colossus. After all, there are only thirty-something other teams in the world better than the Slovaks. So it’s only natural…
Imperator Fish 
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