GCSB leak enquiry announced

An enquiry is to be held to determine who is responsible for a leak from the offices of the GCSB. The leak has caused embarrassment and dismay within government and security circles, with one insider saying it made New Zealand look like “the village idiots of the intelligence world”. The leak occurred last week, after…

PM says sackings show GCSB is getting house in order

Prime Minister John Key says the dismissal of two staff from the Government Communications Security Bureau (GCSB) demonstrates that it is committed to getting its house in order. A damning review of the GCSB’s performance has revealed major failings in the agency’s operations and organisation. But Key today insisted that action was being taken to…

A tribute to Margaret Thatcher

When Margaret Thatcher died earlier this week the media went into a predictable frenzy. Many spoke of how Thatcher “saved” Britain, while others eagerly put aside the usual convention of not speaking ill of the dead. It’s a convention that probably doesn’t apply in the case of a public figure whose legacy affects almost every…

Williamson concerned about impact of new technologies

Criminals are believed to have used telephones during their law-breaking Customs Minister Maurice Williamson has expressed concern that new technologies are allowing criminals to  more easily break the law.He today expressed particular concern at the rising popularity of 3D printers. “If people could print off … sheets of Ecstasy tablets at the party they’re at…

PM vows to work on his lying

John Key Picture taken when he was at the height of his lying powers John Key is promising to work on his lying, after a series of scandals rocked his government. Mr Key continues to be asked by journalists how much he knew about the illegal spying activities of the GCSB, and about the police…

That report finds nobody is to blame

A report into That Thing was released yesterday, after some people died, were endangered, or had their rights violated. The report finds fault with the systems and processes followed by That Organisation, but it falls short of holding anyone accountable. “Everything went wrong but nobody is to blame,” said the report’s author, That Person.Prime Minister…

A statement from the Prime Minister

This government is committed to protecting the security and safety of all its citizens. But we also take very seriously the failings of the GCSB laid bare by Rebecca Kitteridge’s report, and we are determined to ensure these failings are rectified. As the Kitteridge report makes very clear, these problems would not have occurred if our…

Chaos as Thatcher tributes cause flooding

Authorities are pleading for calm, after tributes began pouring in following the death of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. A Civil Defence spokesperson, Dr Neska Punjipatama, said that the rising tide of tributes was expected to peak shortly after 6:00 pm this evening. “We are monitoring levels closely”, said Dr Punjipatama. “We are particularly concerned about…

Why we fight

A guest post by Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, First Secretary of the Workers’ Party of Korea, Supreme Chairman of the Committee for Heroic Dance, Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, First Member of the Supreme Chicken Council, Chairman of the Central Military Commission, Member of the Politburo…

Does Lord Monckton really exist?

Climate change sceptics have sought in recent days to claim that Lord Monckton is currently touring New Zealand. However, these fanciful claims deserve careful scrutiny. Does the evidence of a Monckton tour really stack up? In fact, does Lord Monckton exist at all? Consider the following: Many of those claiming to have met Monckton, or…