The season for apologies

I’m sorry about my tweet last night calling for the murder of all black people. I have now deleted the offending tweet.

It was just a joke, and anyone who knows me well would tell you I would never hurt a black person, unless he was walking towards me wearing a hoodie, because it’d be too late to defend myself if I gave him time to draw his gun.

But that just makes me sensible, not a racist. I’m actually really fond of those blacks. Especially the kids, because everything I do is for the kids.

I met some black people once, and we got on quite well. I also think Nelson Mandela is a great man, and some of my favourite musicians are black.

I’ve apologised, so let’s all move on. It was just a joke, right? Why does everyone take everything I say so seriously anyway? Where’s your sense of humour? What is wrong with you? You people makes me ill. This isn’t my fault! No, you say sorry first!