Out of respect for the victims of the Christchurch massacre, I have decided that all reader comments on the site will now go into moderation, unless I have verified your identity. If you are identity verified, I will allow you to continue to comment without having to go through moderation.

If you want to be identity verified, all you need to do is follow a few simple steps:

1. Send me proof of your identification. I require twelve forms of ID. The following are the only forms of ID I will accept:

• A letter from the Romanian consulate stating your full name and home address in Bucharest.
• A certified copy of someone else’s passport.
• A Post-it note with a smiley face drawn on it.
• Some cheese.
• Zimbabwe.

2. There is a small fee to cover my costs of processing your identity verification application. So please include with your application 500 Roman denarii from the era of Vespasian.

3. Place you proof of ID and the application fee in a zip lock bag. Throw that bag into the sea.

Once your application has been approved, you will be able to post comments on my site without having to go through any sort of moderation process.

I appreciate that this will not be for everyone. So as an alternative to being identity verified, please feel free to continue spouting your usual vile racist misogynist filth. Your comments will just go into moderation for a short time so I can make it look like I’m doing something about all your hate.

But don’t fret, because freedom of speech is an important principle that I will never compromise on. I won’t delete a comment just because it spreads poisonous lies about other people and cultures, emboldens other racists to say even worse things, and helps to normalise hatred against other ethnic groups and religions.

Where would it all end if we gave in to all these calls for censorship? Do we really want to live in a society where someone’s unpopular views have to be vetted before they can be published? It’s not my role as the publisher of a blog site to suppress the opinions of people who wish to incite hatred against Muslims, even if those opinions might encourage some deluded fanatics to believe that their murderous plans will have widespread support.

So don’t worry about all this moderation business. It’s just a short-term solution until things settle down again and we can all go back to talking about those Terrible Muslim People.