Constitution To Be Revised Some Time Next Week

The Government has announced that it will undertake a review of New Zealand’s constitutional arrangements. The review will look at a range of constitutional issues, such as the size of parliament, the length of parliamentary terms, and whether the nation should have a written constitution. The review was originally intended to involve a range of…

My Neighbour Might Be A Terrorist

Dear Sirs, I read in the newspaper that you chaps are encouraging citizens to dob in people who may be involved in the spread or acquisition of weapons of mass destruction. I must say it was a relief to learn that I would finally have someone to express my concerns to. I’ve been very worried…

Sensible Cancer Trust Calls On GP To Resign

A support group for victims of cancer has slammed a prominent Howick doctor and called on him to resign his position. Dr Nigel Coucy has been telling patients that they should cut out smoking, eat healthily and exercise, in order to reduce the risk of cancer. Sensible Cancer Trust spokesman Malcolm Ignant said that Dr…

The People’s Prime Minister

An Imperator Fish exclusive He’s a fan of German philosophy and Voltaire, but doesn’t like the historical legacy of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Prime Minister John Key took a couple of hours out of his busy schedule today to talk exclusively with Imperator Fish readers. Key mixed talk of policy with some personal observations during his…

Violence Mars Santa Parade Again

Organisers of the Auckland Santa Parade are reported to be considering cancelling future parades, after an incident ruined the annual event for families. The event attracts up to a quarter of a million people, but in the last few years a number of incidents have ruined the enjoyment of the spectacle for many. According to…

Uncle Ernie: Just Where Is Honduras?

If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s bother and fuss. That’s why I’m not enjoying this week. Every time I turn on the telly I see more bother and fuss. Those poor chaps are stuck down that mine, which can’t be a lot of fun, but in my day we made the most of…

Weekend Results Roundup

Prime Minister John Key said on Saturday that he was delighted with the Mana byelection result. Although Labour’s inexperienced candidate got over 1000 more votes than the National candidate, MP Hekia Parata, Mr Key said it was still a victory to National. “We never expected to win this,” said Mr Key. “So to pull this…