A videotape of Sunday Star Times Editor Mitchell Murphy has surfaced, only hours after police revealed that the newspaper’s reporters sneaked fake explosives into Super 14 games. Footage of Murphy appeared on the internet shortly after the incidents were made public. While intelligence agencies have not yet verified that the grainy footage is indeed that…
The Sensible Whaling Trust congratulates the Japanese Government for taking firm action against anti-whaling protesters. “The actions of the eco-terrorist Pete Bethune ought to shock any right-thinking person,” said spokesman Ahab McReverend. “The video of Bethune’s actions aboard the Japanese whaling vessel Shonan Maru II is shocking to watch. The video shows Mr Bethune mounting…
A group of DIFTINGUISHED GENTLEMEN wishes to announce the eftablishment of a new limited liability company THE ROYAL SOUTH SEAS PIPE TRADING COMPANY. The PERFONAGES behinde the propofed enterprife include SIR JASPER BUSH-MULLBERRY LORD BENTNICKLE THE RT HON SIR ANTHONY MARLBOROUGH-SNEDLY-SMYTH-PANTYFORTH. SUBFCRIPTIONS ARE NOW FOUGHT from members of the public such as will enable the…
Something terrible has happened to one of our business giants, and I’m sure you will join with me in expressing sadness and condolences towards the man and his family. Because, according to Forbes Magazine, Graeme Hart is no longer the 110th richest man on the planet. His status has dipped, and he now sits in…
Another busy week of talk talk talk. The press have been all over me because they said I claimed in January to have a secret plan to eradicate whaling, when in actual fact we are about to support Japan’s efforts to hunt the little buggers down. I was misreported, of course. What I said was…
The Sensible Whaling Trust welcomes the Government’s decision to support Japan’s bid to resume commercial whaling. Sensible Whaling Trust spokesman Ahab McReverend said that the move by the New Zealand government was a courageous one, and would ensure the high seas were safe from the menace of whales and other cetaceans. “I know the liberals…
It’s that time of year again!! Best Picture For me there is no question about the winner, and I expect Gravatar to romp home. The special effects were stunning, and the tale of a band of heroic miners bringing prosperity to a land of savages has a powerful environmental message that will resonate with climate…
ACT MP Sir Roger Douglas has expressed support for David Garrett’s plan for bad parents to undergo voluntary sterilisation. “At first I thought ‘hello, David’s been into the turps again,’” said Douglas. “But then I went away and had a think about it. David’s plan needs some work, but it could just be what the…
The Government yesterday announced plans for a zero-alcohol policy for legislators. Transport Minister Steven Joyce made the announcement at a press conference yesterday. He said that the Government was committed to safer legislation, and would introducing a bill into parliament in the next fortnight to introduce the zero-alcohol limit. “These new rules will affect everyone…
New Zealand is set to become an international crime hub under plans recently announced by Prime Minister John Key. Mr Key said that early advice indicated making New Zealand a centre for racketeering, money laundering, extortion and murder could create thousands of new jobs. “The plan is in its infancy,” Key said last night. “We…
Imperator Fish 
You must be logged in to post a comment.