Everyone’s favourite libertarian authoritarian returns with a hard-hitting column, and reminds readers that it’s only a Godwin if the person’s not actually a Hitler in disguise. Watching the national conventions of the two main American political parties these last two weeks has been a chilling reminder to me of the peril the world stands in. America is confronted with a…
People of Swedish descent who engage in acts of treason while dressed as nuns will no longer be eligible to receive welfare, Social Development Minister Paula Bennett announced today. Paul Bennett said official Treasury figures showed that the annual cost of providing welfare to people with Nordic backgrounds convicted of acts of treason while wearing…
Plans are being drawn up to add further films to Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. “We recognised that the richness of the story of The Hobbit, as well as some of the related material in the appendices of The Lord of the Rings, gave rise to a simple question: do we tell more of the…
If John Key is too gay for Helensville, just how much gayness would Colin Craig be happy with? Craig is obviously offended by Key’s “mincing”, and by Key’s support for the Marriage Equality Bill. But how much gayness is Key allowed? For example, is all gay sex out, or just the sort that involves the…
There was panic in a busy Epsom café today, after the leader of the Conservative Party, Colin Craig, exploded in public. Retired Epsom woman Prudence Sneedler, who was at the scene, described what occurred. “I was sitting at the table next to him when it happened. “I see Colin a lot in my local Epsom café, so…
Child poverty seems to be the political issue of the moment. All parties will want to be seen to be doing something about the growing number of children living in poverty. But it can be difficult to separate the spin from the serious policy. Luckily, I have managed to get my hands on a top-secret document that…
1492 “Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows the Earth is flat.” 1674“How could anyone refuse to accept the existence of God? Human society has always depended upon the worship of deities, and anyone who denies the existence of a being greater than ourselves is a threat to society.”1863 “Mr Lincoln’s proposal is obscene and goes against…
There is growing concern that Mr Beast of Blenheim may be planning to use the air of Whanganui residents. Mr Beast is due to be released on parole shortly, but fears are growing that he is planning to use the oxygen, local water and other resources in an attempt to live. It is feared that…
Labour leader David Shearer today responded to heated criticism from party members about the direction his party appears to be taking. Labour has in recent weeks suffered a series of setbacks, with reports of an anti-David Cunliffe faction in caucus, and with evidence of growing anger among activist members about the targetting of beneficiaries by Shearer and…
Imperator Fish 
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