After watching tonight’s National Party election campaign advert I now understand their “Brighter Future” slogan. John Key is obviously promising that if National wins the election he’ll invest more in stage lighting. It was also a bold move to film the National Party ad using someone’s mobile phone, don’t you think? I wonder why they…
Finance minister Bill English today released the National Party’s plan to grow the economy and stimulate economic growth. Opponents of National have criticised the party for failing the address the problems of sluggish economic growth, rising unemployment and a volatile dollar. But Mr English today answered his critics with a bold series of initiatives to…
Prime Minister John Key today announced a range of policies aimed at targeting the young. Mr Key told the mostly-late middle-aged audience at the National Party’s annual conference that urgent action was needed to address youth issues. “We simply can’t go on acting as if there isn’t a crisis,” said Mr Key. “The fact of…
Saturday 26 November 2011 – The Labour Party, led by Phil Goff, tonight completed a crushing victory over the National Party in the General Election. With over 98% of the votes counted, Labour were ahead of National in the party vote by over 22%, and were set to capture around 54% of the vote. Prime…
2311 AD: Finance Minister Bill English has lashed out at the Labour Party, claiming that the New Zealand economy remains weak because of nine years of poor economic stewardship by Labour over three hundred years ago. Speaking shortly after delivering his 303rd Budget, and just before returning to the cryogenic freezer for another eleven months,…
Nominations for the National Party Botany electorate candidacy are due to close shortly, but sources within the party indicate that an inanimate object is favoured to take the position. A leaked memorandum, believed to be from National Party President Peter Goodfellow, recommends that the party adopts a lifeless object, such as a sofa or a…
A short message from Bill English To those among you experiencing doubts about the competence of this government in light of what appears to be a sequence of negative statistics, let me assure you that all is well. The statistics show that we are on track! This guide should help you to better interpret all…
Imperator Fish 