Crowds Protest Against Sign Evil

Protests against Wellington Airport’s Wellywood sign have gained momentum, with protesters yesterday conducting marches and hunger strikes. A group of protesters led by veteran activists Sue Bradford and John Minto abandoned plans for a march for equality, and instead barricaded themselves inside the main terminal of Wellington Airport. They were joined late last night by…

Blame Labour

2311 AD: Finance Minister Bill English has lashed out at the Labour Party, claiming that the New Zealand economy remains weak because of nine years of poor economic stewardship by Labour over three hundred years ago. Speaking shortly after delivering his 303rd Budget, and just before returning to the cryogenic freezer for another eleven months,…

The Rapture Song

Oh! You better watch out, You better not cry, You better not pout, I’m telling you why: Jesus Christ is coming to town! He’s making a list, He’s checking it twice, He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice. Jesus Christ is coming to town! He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re…

Some Rapture Questions

Can I take a suitcase? Does my existing insurance cover the Rapture? And will I need travel insurance? Is there mobile phone coverage in Heaven? And will be there be somewhere I can charge my phone? Will all my childhood pets be there to meet me in Heaven? If so, have the ones who used to…

Madame Zoltar’s Budget Forecasts

Treasury forecasts that the Government’s books will be in surplus by the 2014/15 financial year… and you will soon meet a handsome man who will sweep you off your feet. He will wine you, dine you, romance you and dance you. He is also a billionaire. This Budget will boost growth and savings…. and you…

A Few Minor Things To Be Aware Of

The NZ Herald reports on the strict protocol one must adhere to if they wish to address the Maori King. It suddenly occurred to me that some of you may not be prepared for a chance encounter with me. So I have drawn up a short list to assist you should you find yourself in…

Time To End Marrie Entitlement

A guest post from Jerry Smedwit of the New Zealand Centre for Research and Policy. Last week an overwhelming 81% of 40,000 respondents told Close Up that the Marries do not have a special place in this country. Naturally the left portrayed this poll as a meaningless vox pop that merely showed how ignorant many…

Bob Mittsky’s List Of Class Enemies

Award-winning columnist and Riesling revolutionary Bob Mittsky has returned after a long overseas trip. You have probably been wondering what became of me. I was in Britain, on a fact-finding mission to study the way other parties of the left have responded to the challenges faced by rampant capitalism. I was lucky to be able to…

No Pandas No Plan

The Dom Post has reported* that John Key’s plan to acquire two pandas for the Wellington Zoo have been shelved. Instead the zoo wants to acquire a pair of overgrown pussycats. The panda plan was critical to our nation’s economic welfare. It was going to lead to jobs, economic growth, and our winning the Rugby…